Revolting Peasants - From the film 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. ARTHUR and PATSY riding. They stop and look. We see a castle in the distance, and before it a PEASANT is working away on his knees trying to dig up the earth with his bare hands and a twig. ARTHUR and PATSY ride up, and stop before the PEASANT ARTHUR Old woman! DENNIS Man! ARTHUR Man. I'm sorry. Old man, What knight live in that castle over there? DENNIS I'm thirty-seven. ARTHUR What? DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven ... I'm not old. ARTHUR: Well - I can't just say: "Hey, Man!' DENNIS Well you could say: "Dennis" ARTHUR I didn't know you were called Dennis. DENNIS You didn't bother to find out, did you? ARTHUR I've said I'm sorry about the old woman, but from the behind you looked ... DENNIS What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior ... ARTHUR Well ... I AM king. DENNIS Oh, very nice. King, eh! I expect you've got a palace and fine clothes and courtiers and plenty of food. And how d'you get that? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our society! If there's EVER going to be any progress ... An OLD WOMAN appears. OLD WOMAN Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here ... Oh! how d'you do? ARTHUR How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ... can you tell me who lives in that castle? OLD WOMAN King of the WHO? ARTHUR The Britons. OLD WOMAN Who are the Britons? ARTHUR All of us are ... we are all Britons. DENNIS winks at the OLD WOMAN. ... and I am your king .... OLD WOMAN Ooooh! I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective ... DENNIS You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship, A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes ... OLD WOMAN There you are, bringing class into it again ... DENNIS That's what it's all about ... If only - ARTHUR Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle? OLD WOMAN No one live there. ARTHUR Well, who is your lord? OLD WOMAN We don't have a lord. ARTHUR What? DENNIS I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR Yes. DENNIS ... But all the decision of that officer ... ARTHUR Yes, I see. DENNIS ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs. ARTHUR Be quiet! DENNIS ... but a two-thirds majority ... ARTHUR Be quiet! I order you to shut up. OLD WOMAN Order, eh -- who does he think he is? ARTHUR I am your king! OLD WOMAN Well, I didn't vote for you. ARTHUR You don't vote for kings. OLD WOMAN Well, how did you become king, then? ARTHUR The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held Excalibur aloft from the bosom of the water to signify by Divine Providence ... that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur ... That is why I am your king! DENNIS Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out swords ... that's no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. ARTHUR Be quiet! DENNIS You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! ARTHUR Shut up! DENNIS I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would put me away! ARTHUR (Grabbing him by the collar) Shut up, will you. Shut up! DENNIS Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR Shut up! PEOPLE (i.e. other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching. DENNIS (calling) Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed! ARTHUR (aware that people are now coming out and watching) Bloody peasant! (pushes DENNIS over into mud and prepares to ride off) DENNIS Oh, Did you hear that! What a give-away. ARTHUR Come on, patsy. They ride off. DENNIS (in the background as we PULL OUT) did you see him repressing me, then? That's what I've been on about ...